Juggling. Yes, really.

Juggling

(Yes, really)

    Adventure! Intrigue! Exploration!

    I wanted none of these things. A hermit by nature, I prefer doing anything and everything at my house, indoors. There is a certain charm to doing things at your own house that you can't get anywhere else: the food is more appetizing; The chairs, more comfortable; The water, more wet! Yes, truly, the way to live life is to shut yourself indoors and never have any human interaction ever (this is sarcasm). So, what new activity and/or experience could I have with no budget and in the snug comfort of four walls? Well, you read the title, you know the answer: Juggling!

    Juggling, the act of throwing and catching two or more objects over and over again. We humans clearly have very high standards for what we consider entertaining (this is also sarcasm). Now, I rag on it, but juggling is genuinely fun to watch, and is the perfect amount of clownish whimsy to fit the vibe I try to go for in day-to-day life. Plus, I only need three soft, vaguely spherical objects to get started, so why not give it a shot?

    I informed my dad of my goal, and he gathered three dryer-balls for me to practice with. I obviously was not going to be able to juggle three at once, so I started practicing with one. Have you ever tossed an object into your other hand? Congrats, you've learned to juggle one item. So then it was on to two balls, A significantly harder challenge. No matter what I did, the balls seemed to either fall away from me, fall towards me, or roll off of my hands as I attempted to grab them; on a few occasions they even collided mid-air! A unique cruelty of juggling is that it is much easier to do while standing, a daunting task for me and my back problems, hours of suffering (which I would later be informed was actually just one hour) just to practice 2/3rds of a juggling act. My spirit was low.

    My dad suggested watching a tutorial video, I thought it pointless, as my main issue seemed to stem from a simple lack of coordination rather than something that could be easily corrected. Still, I could stand to sit down for a few minutes, so I indulged. The video started with a quick tutorial on how to juggle one ball, presumably for those who are new to having hands. The tutorial for two balls DID have a nugget of wisdom, which was the precise timing for when to release a ball (when the previous ball has reached the peak of its arc). This gave me renewed determination. Perhaps now I'd find it easier to juggle!... I did not. Well, actually, I take that back. It helped a little, but I still found myself fumbling the dryer balls.

    I was growing weary. My back hurt and my arms ached. I only had a few more tries left in me. I fumbled the dryer balls for what must be the 1,000^th time, and one rolled behind me, resting next to a hamper. I turned around and knelt down to retrieve it, only to notice a tennis ball. A humorous thought crossed my mind, and I picked up the small yellow tennis ball instead of the large gray dryer ball, pretending not to notice that I picked up the wrong one. This elicited an expression from my dad usually reserved for terrible puns. I got a small chuckle from the reaction and tossed the balls into the air. I fumbled the dryer ball as usual, but caught the tennis ball. “At least I only have to pick up one,” I thought to myself. I picked up the dryer ball again and tossed them once more, I fumbled the dryer ball and caught the tennis ball, a small thought sparked in the back of my head.

    I tossed the balls.

    The dryer ball fell.

    I caught the tennis ball.

    The thought slowly drew my attention...

    I tossed the balls.

    The dryer ball fell.

    I caught the tennis ball.

    wait a second...

    I tossed the balls.

    The dryer ball fell.

    I caught the tennis ball.

    Then I realized! Without uttering a word, I scrambled into the living room, looking for more tennis balls. I have two dogs so they weren't scarce. I grabbed two additional balls and headed back to my dad.

    I tossed the two tennis balls and... success! I caught them both! A singular, successful juggle! But... perhaps it was a fluke. Yes, that was probably it, a fluke! Surely it wouldn't happen again.

    It happened again! A second toss, a second juggle! Could it be? One more toss, and another success! I had learned how to (semi-)reliably juggle two balls! I celebrated this victory by collapsing on the couch and vowing to never touch another spherical object again.